Hardest Part is Done…Leaving.

I’m on my way. Me and my two bags. I’m feeling, ever so slightly, as though I am carrying too much. Always carrying too much baggage. Chin-Yu would make fun of me, for sure. At the last minute, I wondered if I should take a rolling suitcase plus my day pack, rather than two backpacks (we are staying at three different accommodation hubs along the path and travelling to and from between the trail start and finish and hotel/apartment each day). I decided it was too late to reorganise my big backpack into a suitcase, and I will make do with what I have. I will learn if it is a poor choice, and I aim to be content either way.

I feel pain in my neck and shoulder (left side) and am trusting this will pass with every day, moving forward, as I relax into this new experience/chapter and am away from the poor posture of using a laptop for all the desk work we have as a Teacher.

It feels more and more difficult to pack up and leave my comforts, to change the neuropathways I’ve developed that provide me with a sense of stability and security. I didn’t sleep well last night and was up early, and though I prepared and followed a list, I felt worried. Was I missing something? Did I forget something? Nothing I can’t replace, I told myself after singing (to tune of The Stones’ “Time is on My Side”), “God is on my side, yes She is!” I am held and supported by a supportive Universe, buzzing and alive in me and around me.

I’ve made the first bus. Next is a train to the airport. My plane is in 5 hours, and it’s about 90mins to the airport with bus and train. I asked a couple friends if they could drive me, but when they were unavailable, I decided it’s part of the adventure to do it on my own. A warm up for the next steps.

My upper body was full of buzz through the day yesterday, last evening and this morning. It settled during a walk with a friend in the woods, but activated once the walk was over. My brain tells me that I care about this. Yes, I care. If I usually do not want to miss a plane or a bus or a train or mess up my travel, fear of messing up on the way to meet my dad triggers an extra special core anxiety. Whoa! I get an opportunity to alter this worry, I just realised. This is an opportunity to create new experiences, to rewrite the stories (real and imagined) that trigger my fears and anxieties of not being [on-time, quick, organised, clever, in control] enough.

While I waited at the airport for the first flight, I searched for bus and train and tides and weather in Ayrshire. It was ridiculously delightful to not struggle with interpreting the websites to my native language! The weather looks like perfect walking weather, for the first week at least. Yay!

I arrived in Glasgow and took the airport bus for 10 quid and got off a short 5 mins from the hotel. Dad ordered us each a hotel room tonight and on the 9th before we fly to our respective homes. It is delightful to have this as I finally arrived at midnight.

I’m so excited about this adventure. It’s been awhile since I’ve felt like this. Light. I don’t feel anxious or worried. New beginnings. A new story. I feel so very blessed to be able to do this with Dad. I’m meeting him at 8:30am, so I’d better get some sleep.